Monday, March 27, 2006

wild mercury

mercury is no longer in retrograde. not all of us made it out alive.

i don't believe in astrology. yet i swear -- and may even have posted before -- that every single time a lot of crazy or just plain bad shit happens all at once, and nothing seems to get done, and i remark upon it in frustration to someone, they say, "well, mercury is in retrograde, ya know." mainly it means communication breakdown and at best rough transitions; here is an interesting summary of its effects. the planet mercury rules both my sign and that of a surprising number of people close to me. i think but am not sure that means it affects us more. in any case, this last round (which ended saturday) was straight from hell.

on sunday i read that, according to marilyn vos savant in parade magazine, every day on earth, about 150,000 people die (and 350,000 are born). funny how the scale of that statistic shrinks when one of the 150K is someone you love. that is a whole bizarre trip about which anyone who's been there knows all, and if you haven't, there's no explaining it. just be glad you don't understand, b/c you will. but as weird as it is to experience a loved one's death, there's a whole new set of weird when helping someone else through their own bizarre trip. it's like, you -- or, really, i can only say i -- almost feel like i want to go through it for them. knowing how awful it is, i want to spare them. but, duh. it doesn't work like that.

mercury in retrograde, however, is also supposed to be a time for reflection, deliberation, caution. it's no time to be trying to execute crazy ideas, or any ideas at all. that's not practical, of course: it happens for three weeks, three times a year. (next time beginning july 4 -- hide the fireworks!) now i find myself in my own sort of retrograde, trying to find time for reflection but resisting it. thinking leads to a real heavy sadness. even the war and all the usual freaky murders of the week seem distant, misty. not worth paying attention to b/c ... whatever. it'll still be there when i look in on it again. i have been thinking a lot about loss and potential. about, what is a life. and about how to help someone get on with theirs.

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